Musings on the summer program

Well I made it through all eleven weeks of the program. I am proud that I finished. I was worried there for Bit when recovering from my bout in the hospital. I started the program pretty hung ho. I haas all my weeks organized by themes and wanted o have a corresponding story and craft each week. That worked well for the first four weeks. After the hospital, I just felt like I was playing catch up for the rest of the summer. As a matter of fact here is the second week of September, and I have just finished posting my observations from the last two weeks of camp. That was another thing I had hoped...every Sunday morning, time alone to recollect and blog. This is still my weekly goal. I was never much of a journal writer, but if I have a focus..observations on the children I work with or watching my own youngest son, I find journaling, a.k.a. Blogging, very therapeutic, calming and clarity providing. So nice to share the digital pictures too. Kind of like a digital scrap book of sorts. I have no intention of running a camp next Summer. This was my third year and now Curtis will turn six soon. The camp was great in that it allowed me to have a summer income, pay for my training, have hands on training with the children in my camp, and provide playmates for Curt. But he is entering a different stage now. He wants boys his age or older or girls who have that boy like quality to their play. He wants playmates to build with him and climb trees really high, or play pirate ship. I think next Summer will be the summer of more organized play dates, camping trips and swim lessons. He was able to accommodate the younger ones quite a bit with Princess Kitty, trains, and hide and seek for instance, but I am feeling that he needs me more now. Isn't that odd, one would think he would need me more when he was younger. Maybe he did, but with so many things going on...moving to Mt Airy three years ago, entering training at Sophia's Hearth, I just had to ignore that and include childcare in my day aside from my work in the Nursery. So no extra childcare for twelve months...this is what I am experiencing intuitively right now. And my training is all paid up...no worries there. This last best summer camp was a wonderful learning experience for me though. I had almost a year of training under my belt, and a shopping bag full of reading material I am still working through. The magic of. Sophia's Hearth has brought me to a new place in such a short time. The training reminds me of the mediation Intensive weekends I was so fond of participating in at the Yoga Ashram in New York State many years ago. Such intense focused work, really can bring you to new levels of understanding. Of course, the more you know, the more you know you don't know. I was having a conversation with one of the former course participants a few months ago. She incidentally provided childcare for my Curtis when he was three years old, two days a week at her home. One of the first things I had to do was to Apologize to her for my extreme ignorance. I would linger too long at pick up, when she needed to have her own time. I also couldn't understand why she needed so much time to diaper her then 12 month old. The amazing thing was this woman was so gracious with my ignorance...ok she is also a trained Waldorf Grades teacher, but still. She was also gracious to accept my apology. I also look back at my first year in the Nursery. My lead teacher was very helpful in offering me reading material and discussing many things such as movement, speed and task focus. Some things, I just couldn't understand though...training has helped greatly and I look forward to my final two weeks next summer. What I have discovered is that I have my own personality my own sense of being which I enjoy transmitting authentically when I work with children. In my own program, I feel I can present myself authentically to the children and trust my own intuition without worrying what the other adults in the room are thinking. I can let situations breathe more. I find this to be one of my strengths. There were so many instances this summer of my letting the children work it out while I was on a focused task. Gosh, I even sewed three sleep sacks on my sewing machine. I am not able to let situations breathe like this in the Nursery, because there are many more than the five children, and because I need to follow the lead teacher's signals. I am following her intuition and reading her clues as to what supplemental assistance she needs if any. This is hard on my growing intuition as I find I send it mixed signals...there are two layers:intuit the lead teachers clues or sense the feedback I am experiencing directly from the children. This is something I want to be conscious of this year...how to hold on to my authentic self and do a good job as a Nursery Assistant. I guess it is timing really. I find this with my own children also. I can sense other adults near me when I am working with my own children, who are getting a little anxious..as if they would have stepped in already. But again and agin, I find, if I just trust my own gut, often the situation resolves itself naturally. It is a great affirmation for me to know that my timing and my own style, really do work in creating a happy environment for children. I am hoping that my reaffirming of my own personal yoga practice...it has gotten a bit sloppy over the past two years, will bring my consciousness back up again.I also realize that feeling the energy of the adults around me throws me off a bit. I am very sensitive to negative adult energy especially when directed at me. I tend to over think my actions or second guess, instead of being in a happy, centered naturally flowing space which is the place I need to be as I work with children. Human beings are human beings and there will always be misunderstandings, gossip, assumptions and judgement. I am glad to have regained my self-confidence with children this summer and will make every attempt through diligent yoga practice and meditation to maintain my center and stay in touch with my authentic self during the school year. I am still delving into the Steiner type meditations, but I am pretty comfortable with yoga work. Breathe, breathe, breathe.

Week 11: Frogs and Toads

This post is for the last week of camp, the week of August 29th. I was not Le to start camp on Monday the 29th as I was delayed in Rhinebeck, due to Hurricane Irene. Philadelphia and New York were hit pretty hard and traveling was a nightmare. Kim and I decided to extend our stay and wait out the storm. The OMEGA campus flooded a bit. At one point after the morning class, there was an actual river that formed down the main path...with quite a strong current. Kim and I waded across this river...up past our ankles...we did it .. But others were losing their shoes! We were all so blissed out from the yoga retreat that we didn't care so much. ... We were somewhat insulated from the fear that was permeating most of society as we were so busy practicing yoga asanas, chanting, eating well prepared vegetarian food, and we were away from televisions. Kim and I were booked at a hotel in downtown Rhinebeck and would plug into the crazy fear stuff in the evening. True it was an event to be prepared for, and during the event there was a bit to keep track of, but unless you were in an area being evacuated, it was better, in my opinion to tune out the media as much as possible. But on Monday, once the Tapanzee Bridge and Taconic were open for business, Kim and I ventured home. On Tuesday, morning play focused around the wooden IKEA train set. This set is two train sets put together. There are twelve trains. R, M and Curtis were together that morning. There is usually conflict over the trains..someone wants all the trains, someone wants the blue train, someone doesn't have enough track. But on this particular morning, Curt counted out all the trains and gave each girl four of them. If they wanted a different color, he negotiated swapping. They all traded and played fairly for about 15-20 minutes. Curtis also negotiated when the tracks needed to be cleared for another train. There was no hitting or crying, not even once! Another beautiful moment from that day was during storybook time, just before rest time. Curt was in Princess Kitty garb and as the children gathered on the rug in a semicircle facing me, he rested his head on R's lap. And she petted his head during the story. Curt had a buzz cut about two months ago, but it is still short enough to be furry, just like a kitty cat. What a beautiful picture that is in my mind's memory album. On Tuesday , Curtis and M were together for a while before R arrived. They played so well together, she's becoming like a little sister to him. He enjoys showing her how to build with the TREO blocks. She is a very attentive listener and follows his directions to the letter. Curt often has a lot of directions to impart to his playmates. He also enjoys pushing her high on the IKEA swing...M really loves this and asks him to do this again and again. She will call, "Turtis, come push me on the swing.". He will stop what he is doing and push her. I notice how often he leaves what he is doing to help her, more often than I leave my tasks when he calls to me to watch or help. This is food for thought for me. At Carpenter's Woods, the stream was soooooo full after all the recent rain storms. It seems very cleaned out and fresh. A little waterfall developed under the fallen trees in our special spot. This spot was not a place to be when the stream rain low and it was hot and muggy. But this time we all climbed under there..it was like a little hidden cavern with a waterfall. Curt loved it. The girls were happy o see it, but then wanted to return to our regular spot. But they had so much fun with the high water and tossing mud balls into the stream. Our last day was September 2nd. Part of me is happy to have completed the 11week program...even with the bout of viral meningitis...and part of me is sad it is coming to a close. Once again, M and Curt had some time to play together before R arrived. Curt tried to teach her hide and seek. I forgot how much un it is to experience hide and seek with a two year old. Finally they started playing hide the raccoon doll. They took turns. M would hide it and then go find it herself or keep hiding it in the same spot. What was fun was seeing Curt's reaction. He was totally amused that she was not quite getting the idea Nd was learning. He was having so much fun, laughing and reminding her not to tell us where she had hid the doll. This made me really happy to have decided to do this program this Summer...that moment right there. Thank you to all the parents who trusted me with their beautiful children this summer. And thank you to all the camp participants, whether for a day or the whole eleven weeks...for bringing your beatific light into my home and providing a bunch of playmates for Curtis. See you at school.

Week 10: Bees

This post is for the week of August 22. MA and NA two sisters that I have sat for many times in the past came this week on Monday and Tuesday. MA is five and NA is three. Curtis is very used to playing with them and truly enjoyed their company. NA spent a year in the Nursery program at school with M, the two year old girl, so they enjoyed playing together as well. R did not join us until Tuesday afternoon this week. Monday the 22nd, I turned 40 years old. This is an exciting milestone for me. I am actually quite content at reaching this age. My dear, friend and neighbor, Kate invited me and the Curtii over for "breakfast for dinner.". That was really sweet of her as Big Curt and I are really not good at throwing birthday parties. Tuesday, the 23rd was interesting because Philadelphia was hit with the effects of a 5.5 earthquake based in Virginia. I was sitting with the children at the dining table and we were having lunch. We didn't feel the earthquake at all. I just heard the kitchen door jiggle a bit..as if someone was repeatedly pulling on the door handle. I remember wondering out loud who was messing with the door. I had no idea until much later that there was an earthquake. How strange. It seems some people felt it and others didn't. Feeling the earth's movement was really dependent on location: if you were in a high rise downtown, outside, in a tree, etc, your experience was different. Well, we we all just fine. Earlier that day, M, Curtis, MA and NA and I walked along the stream bed at Carpenter's Woods and collected all the broken glass we could find. It is amazing how much old glass can be found there sometimes..it is definitely old, thick, colored glass. In reading some history of Carpenter's Woods, I have found that there were three buildings at one time in these woods... Can't help but wonder that the glass is sometime of fill leftover from demolishing the buildings. Anyhow, the children and I were focused on the work and we were all in high spirits cleaning up the stream bed. Once again, the afternoon held alot of tree climbing in the courtyard with Urtis and Baigal. How strong they are becoming. Friday, I did not have camp as my sister Kim and I were off to OMEGA Institute in Rhinebeck, NY for Being Yoga Retreat. Kimberly paid all expenses and we had a great time. It was so wonderful on the tenth anniversary of my practicing yoga to attend this retreat and meet some teachers I have been aching to meet for years. I remember starting yoga practice just before my thirtieth birthday, and soon realizing how this practice can help me bea better mother to my Gregory, my oldest boy who was five years old then. Wow, how time flies.